That moment that you see the person you blocked (because they ruined your life) popping up in everyone else’s posts and you remember they aren’t actually dead… they’re only dead to you.
I’m being fairly silly here but the reality is this….WOW! I’ve really cleaned up my life. No more toxic people. It’s gotten to the point that I barely think about these people at all! The above realization is actually pretty comforting because when you set healthy boundaries for you and your family, you will begin to experience joy. REAL JOY! And that peace that surpasses all understanding? Yeah, you begin to get that too.
At first, it stings a little, because no one else seems to care that these people have left a trail of bloodied bodies behind them. Even though these people do horrific damage, others still love them and care for them. They laugh with them and act like they didn’t just spend the last 12 years making someone’s life a pure unholy hell. But the point is this, life goes on. Toxic people are incapable of being loving, yet they still require love. We all deserve to be treated kindly and if I cant do it, then its good that someone else can. Truly, we all need love and compassion.
Even though we cant ask others to stop being friendly to those who hurt us, we can ask the people closest to us for the following…
-Please don’t talk about the person in front of me until I’m ready
-Please don’t engage in behavior with that person that allows them to hurt me by way of you (i.e. liking their Passive Aggressive posts, engaging in gossip, entertaining slanderous conversations)
-Please tag the person so that I don’t see those conversations (don’t just write their name in your post)
-Please respect that I’m hurting and working on healing and forgiving
The last two and half years have been the absolute happiest of my life!!! I don’t think it’s coincidence that once I cleaned out my life and my Facebook account of toxic slanderous people, that I began to experience real Peace.
Don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries! ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE HAPPY! Dont worry about caring “for” those people either. Some of you may feel bound by the obligation of caring for that abuser because you’re the only one who will. There are 7 billion people on this planet, I think there are enough people to help that person without you having to do it. You are only as free as you allow yourself to be in this regard.
I’m still working on myself and I don’t have to be torn apart for the sake of someone else’s willful disfunction and destruction. Whether these people are friends, family, acquaintances or the check-out lady at the market…free yourself if necessary. And help protect others who are being abused by avoiding being manipulated by those who would hurt them.
Thanks for all your love and support! I’ve come a long way and still have a way to go. I’ll get there ❤
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