Master Potty Jedi

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Well, the 5yo did it!  It’s official, folks.   He has now mastered the potty.  I know the last couple of posts have been a little on the more serious side and that you can probably tell my heart is hurting quite a bit.  Well, 2013 has got to be our year because after nearly 2 years of fruitless potty training, our 5 yo son is not using the potty completely.

If you want to read how the victory started… check out my last post Tootsie Roll Factory Working Again! Thanks, Homeschooling.

I couldn’t believe that on March 4th I could be putting him in underwear, but the day after the post went up we tried it.  He has been in underwear for TWO WEEKS!  3 small pee accidents for waiting too long, and 2 poop accidents for being sick (I don’t really count those, but for posterity I list them 😉 LOL!).

Before all of this happened he used to complain about the “bad feelin’s”.  He would say things like “I don’t not

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Compared To Whom???

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FRIDAY FACES with Jen…

So when I was told as a teenager that I “didn’t have a face for modeling” and was told by dozens of peers that I was “so ugly” that they “wanted to cut my face off”… I think… compared to whom?

These women???? Listen ladies! We’re beautiful. God knows I don’t feel beautiful. I think I am ugly for most of the day. But I put aside that abuse, the wounds from it and my insecurities when my 5yo son tells me “Mommy. You’re beautiful. I want to stay with you forever.”

I won’t allow him to stay with me forever, but I will allow him to love me. And I’ll believe with him, that I am beautiful…even if I am only able to feel it a few times a day. It’s better than never feeling beautiful.

So when you feel down about your looks, just look at these poor girls who are being made a fool of for fashion’s sake and know that God cherishes His beautiful daughter that He fearfully and wonderfully made…YOU! ♥ Love you all!

 

-pictures found on www.marieclaire.co.uk

-disclaimer I understand this kind of fashion to some extent.  Shoot! I love Cosplay.  But these women are really being degraded and forced into an unhealthy lifestyle.  It makes me very sad for those young girls 😦

Redefining “Shark Bait”

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Something happened to me and the kids on Wednesday that I wanted to wait to post about until I wasn’t angry anymore. Well, after 48 hours of reflection I can confidently say that I have every right to be angry about this situation. Angry at myself, my kids and the woman who left my child for potential road kill.

After the gym I took the kids to the library to pick up some books that I had on hold. They were running around, the 2yo was yelling and I was really embarrassed. Especially since the librarians were correcting my kids (in order to help me, them and everyone, but still it hurts a little). I was just trying to get out of there! I managed to get them calmed down and we started to walk outside even though I hadn’t put everything in bags.

There’s about a 15 yard stretch between the door and the parking lot. So I told the 5yo to hold the 2yo hand and not let go. While i’m stuffing my stuff in a shopping bag. He lets go and the 2yo starts running toward the parking lot. I stumble and the 5yo runs after the 2yo. The 2yo thinks its a game of chase and sprints for the parking lot! All this is happening in seconds!

I see that I’m not going to make it. As I’m sprinting towards the children, wetting my pants (literally from fear), I scream for a woman who is next to her car (and in front of my kids) for help!

I’m literally screaming at the top of my lungs “Grab him! HEEEELP! Please grab him! HELP PLEASE” She looks at me in the eyes as I’m tripping and peeing and near hysterics and you know what she does … TURNS HER BACK ON ME.

I couldn’t believe it. The 5yo grabbed him one millisecond before I did… 14 INCHES from the parking lot. I am not exaggerating this situation.

I was on my knees scolding my children for disobeying and trying to control my tears, voice and bladder. Finally, I stood up, children in hand and turned around and looked at this lady dead in the face and asked, “Really? You were just going to let him run in front of a car. Really????” Then I took the Lord’s precious name in vain (not my finest hour). But I felt like she needed to know who she needed to answer to, if you get my meaning.

That woman, looked completely apathetic. Dead in the eyes. Cold in the lack of emotions in her face. She gave her head a slight shake and her shoulders a gentle shrug as if to say “Its not my problem” I have seen this look on so many faces in my life and in the media and it is always as if the person relinquishes themselves from any responsibility for themselves, their behavior or for anyone else troubles.

I am absolutely livid about this and I’m having a difficult time understanding, loving and forgiving her. She was ready to let my little baby die and as this was unfolding, I truly believed that this was the last day I was going to see him. Ive never been more scared in all my life. If God hadn’t intervened I don’t know what would have happened and I’m thankful I don’t have to live that alternate reality.

I was so shut down afterwards I actually blocked it from memory until yesterday. I told Vernon about and I apologized for not telling him sooner but I had just been trying to process it. Which, meant forgetting about it for a day.

I suppose I’m sharing this here, because I’ve been in situations like this where I’ve had to grab kids for their parents. I’ve never judged them or thought that it wasn’t my problem. Whether you like it or not, we all live on this God forsaken planet together. Most moms are there to help eachother out. If you are of the mind set to quickly to judge a mom, dad, or caregiver for their child’s behavior…to the point of apathy…you need to do some serious self reflecting and ask if you really are all that you think you’re cracked up to be. Being a parent or caregiver is insanely stressful. You are responsible for another little person’s life (sometimes more than one) and it doesn’t help if everybody keeps telling you that you’re a piece of crap at it or that you’re all alone and nobody should help you.

I don’t beat my kids. I don’t verbally abuse my kids. I don’t neglect my kids. What am I doing wrong exactly? Loving them and building them up? Staying at home, nourishing their minds and bodies? Is that wrong? Theyre kids! They are going to be kids! I love how everyone tells you to keep your kids under control but the minute you consider putting them in a back pack with a leash then youre a MONSTER! I feel like I’m drowning in the hypocracy of Previous Parents.

Letting a kid get run over by a car because “it’s not your problem” should be the new definition of “shark bait”. I don’t know when I’ll be able to love and forgive this woman. Normally I can put myself in someone elses shoes and look at things from anothers perspective. There have only been a few cases (people) that being in their shoes revealed to me that there was nothing redeaming about them or at least about the decisions they made. Truly, there was nothing that I could have imagined would drive someone to ever make the kinds of decisions they made. This woman has made the elite list of those kinds of people. It wasn’t even a list until I met her, thats how short it was.

Please pray for me that I can forgive her. Please pray that I can teach my kids to obey. Please pray that they will continue to be protected by their guardian angels. And please…please… pray that I won’t pee myself again! (That was the icing on the cake.) If you’re not religious and don’t pray, your warm thoughts and wishes are still desperately needed and appreciated.

Now where did I put my drink?????

Brother Portrait: Nailed It!

 

 

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Thanks to Ken Bruggeman for publicly posting this great picture of two, perfect-brothers, so that I could show off my two, seemingly-perfect-brothers picture. 😉

Tootsie Roll Factory Working Again! Thanks, Homeschooling.

Homeschool Started

Last Monday, we started up Homeschool again.  We are still waiting on some evaluations, but I thought it would be good for all of us to get some schooling in.  We were getting SO bored!!!  Homeschooling has been so difficult for me because I just didn’t have the ability to understand or create my own lesson plans.  I’ve had people recommend curricula, but none of them had the lesson plans written out.  The ones that did, were RIDICULOUSLY expensive (some being $900). I’m positive that I have some kind of a learning disability and I’ve struggled with the organizing of information all of my life.  Trying to take different subjects and create lesson plans for them was not overwhelming, it was IMPOSSIBLE.

My second college degree is in Theater Education and I always got horrible scores on my lesson plans.  I just couldn’t understand how to take all of the information I ‘knew’ and put it into an organized plan.  One lesson at a time wasn’t too hard when I knew what the teacher wanted me to say, but the unit long ones would give me horrible headaches.  This is why I don’t like chess!  You have to know where you’re going and most people know that I never know where I’m going. LOL!  I spent hours researching curricula online and it was all very confusing and expensive.  I spent 8 hours one day trying to save money on a curricula by looking for some of the materials at the library, ebay, amazon etc. and creating a Spreadsheet to organize my findings.  The result, I would save $24 off of a $800 purchase.  I spent a full day’s work to save $24?!?!?!  If I were getting paid to be a Stay At Home Mom, I just lost $60 that day. DAG-NIT!!!!

Then, one morning I woke up and I just knew exactly what I needed to do.  I knew that I needed to get curricula that had the lesson plans in them… duh.  However, the miraculous understanding came in how those plans, units, concepts, standards and objectives all lined up!!!! I’ve been praying and praying and praying and then… POOF!  I got it.  I can tell you dozens of stories of how God has given me miraculous understanding in things that were seemingly impossible and where I had NO help.  So, here we are and I was a good week! No boredom, fighting, strife, or whining.

The biggest thing that happened was the 5yo started put his poop in the potty. ALL. WEEK. LONG.  That’s right, parents!  The day after we started school again, the toilet seat started going up on it’s own.  At first, I was creeped out (watching too many paranormal investigation shows I suppose). Then, sanity said, “that’s your son using the toilet…Nerd.”  I’m sorry, but that is not a sound that we are used to hearing around here.  He’s only had a few accidents. One major blowout, at his Uncle and Aunt’s that required a shower… heheheheh… sorry guys…. Other than that, he’s been accident free and has given Butt Birth to some of the most amazing turds!  I’m so proud of him.  This is the longest record he’s held in almost TWO years!  TWO YEARS!!!!!  All of the withholding and constipation and fear and complaints have all but disappeared.  He tells me… “no mom, i want to do it all by myself. I’ll call when I need you.”  What a grown up thing to say!  I think he might be ready for underwear… omg… underwear….  UNDERWEAR!!!!  This is like the Holy Grail of Potty Training!!!!

We’ve been doing the Miralax regime for 18 months and it was the same cycle: gets impacted, give him Miralax, cleaned out, withholds, gets impacted again even though he’s on Miralax.  I still think that he has some sensory problems and physical problems that are hindering him because he’s explained that he cant feel his poop.  But it seems he’s found something that is working for him and he’s going for it!  We’ve been showering him with rewards!!!

For any of you who are interested in our full Potty Training Journey, start from the beginning by reading Let’s Talk About Poop Logs.  You can find the link in the side bar under the “Potty Training” category. Believe me when I say that we have tried everything under the sun and nothing has worked.  He literally started doing this on his own with no motivation at all.  Something just clicked and he’s working with it.  I dont want to say his problem is cured.  It’s not.  He is working with what he has found successful and trying, but I feel that he is building his self confidence right now and I’m not going to doubt in front of him.  I just treat him like he’s succeeded.  If he reverts backwards, I wont dispair and I wont discourage him.  We’ll just keep doing what we have been… going with the flow… or lack there of 😉

Nailed It!

Nailed It

Two Fifty Can Make A Difference!

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I am just one of the many people who have been inspired by Carrie Bland (aka @Keeba13).  Her kindness and passion for Geek culture helped me get through a very dark time in my life.  I think we can all agree that Carrie has touched us positively in one way or another.  She’s an amazing person and deserves some serious respect for all of her hard work!

Please help me raise funds for Carrie Bland to send her to San Diego Comic Con 2013!  Carrie, redefines the word ‘bland’.  She is a beautiful lover of all things Geek; full of life, fun and compassion.  Just by being herself, she has helped me change my life from a dull and ‘bland’ existence to one that is colorful, confident and creative!

Carrie is one the most amazingly talented GeekMoms.  She is respected as a top Gaming Girl and is the Community Manager for PMS Clan Halo Division.  Respect!  A Whovian, a Zombie Apocalypse lover, Supernatural addict, and did I mention she loves tacos? Carrie’s an Amazing GeekMom who is so dope, that she crafts-up Legend of Zelda Link arm cuffs for her daughter and cosplay’s some hardcore Stormtrooper action!  What lucky kids ❤

I don’t feel that this self-sacrificing woman should have to stay home when she is loved by so many!  If all of her friends, family and Twitter followers were to donate $2.50, we would definitely meet our Goal Amount.  I bet you could find two-fifty in change right now in the couch cushions! Please help us send Carrie Not-at-all-Bland to San Diego Comic Con 2013!  No one deserves it more! 😀

Let’s DO this!!!

Also… Please REBLOG this to help get the word out.  You can also request a digital poster to print out and put up at local Comic Book and Gaming Stores, coffee houses, campuses, etc…  We need to spread the word!  If interested in a digital poster, comment below and I will link it to you!

Have a great week everybody!

❤ Jen

The Potty Gremlin Sabotage

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I’m convinced that we must have a Potty Gremlin throwing its evil wrenches in the works of our Potty Training Journey.  Yesterday I posted about my frustration with how I was treated about James’ allergies but I didn’t even get to write about the POOP conversation I had with the  doctor.

Two weeks ago I was given the information of a woman whose 6yo boy experienced the similar sensory issues and the same problem my son has with potty training.  I contacted her and she told me her story via email.  I couldn’t believe it!  Not only could she relate but she had found something that was successful.  It was suggested to her that she try Biofeedback to help her son and her son has been fully bowel trained for weeks now!

I’ve used Biofeedback to help with bladder issue I sustained from a difficult pregnancy as well as a congenital issue.  I was amazed out how this changed my life!  It’s not often heard of or understood but it is the closest thing to a miracle drug you can get.  Biofeedback uses electricity to help your muscles contract.  It strengthens them and teaches your brain how to use them again. I can’t believe I havent thought of this before.  If they can do it for your bladder, why couldn’t they do it for the bowel too?!

I brought this up to the Pediatrician yesterday after the whole allergy thing went down.  I told him that after 18 months of constipation and impaction, 12 of which he’s been on Miralax daily, that I wanted to try the Biofeedback and get a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician.  Here’s where the Gremlin comes in, the Doctor didn’t buy it.  We are on the verge of finding something that could change our tender-hearted son’s life and give him some real victory and we get sidelined.  *Deep Breath* So! He ordered an X-ray because he was positive James was impacted with stool.  I agreed that he probably was, but I still insisted that the reason he is impacted is because he doesn’t know “how” to push his POOP out.

The doctor insisted that it was his Impaction causing the desensitization.  I’ve done a lot of reading and understand the facts about Impaction and it symptoms.  However, James is different and has had bowel problems from the day he was born.  The withholding is a new thing and doesn’t explain all the constipation and Impaction from before that.  I just know the cause of his problems is the lack of muscle control and I’m so tired of being given the run around.

His X-ray showed that he WAS impacted.  Surpriiiiiise! not….  I AM surprised that a simple request for a referral for Biofeedback is treated like a request for a blood-letting. *whew*  I just kept a smile on my face and said thank you and took my son for the X-ray thinking “I’ll just jump through the hoops so that I seem compliant and then they’ll give me what I want.”  Wrong again.  Instead they told me to give him Miralax… I’ve been giving him 1/2 Cap full of Miralax every day for the last 12 MONTHS. That’s not the answer to the long-term problem.  Now we have to do this for another month before we can bring it up again.

I also have to wait until December 10th 2013 in order to see a Developmental Pediatrician. Not surprised by the wait, but the hope of James being potty trained is constantly being discouraged.  We try to keep things light around here but he’s starting to be defeated by the potty.  He doesn’t even want to sit on it or talk about it. I hate the bureaucracy of the system.  “Do “A”, then do “B”, don’t forget “C D E F G” and when we run out of letters there’s an infinite amount of NUMBERS!”  Can I please just get a referral?!?!?!

All of that whining to say this:

ASK YOUR PEDIATRICIAN ABOUT BIOFEEDBACK

LOL! I certainly hope you all have better success with your doctors.  Please pray for me and James.  We are so weary from this.  I just need to be patient and calm, understanding and forgiving.  ❤

Don’t Point That Turd At Me!

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Since SuperHubby has been out of town this week things have gotten very interesting.  The beginning of the week is always easiest for the kids and the last two days are usually insane filled with frustration, tireness, sadness because they miss their daddy.

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Here’s what happened last night as I posted on Facebook:

THE BIRD JUST GOT OUT!!! I managed to catch it. My poor MIDGE! 😦

I needed to clip their nails and midge snuck out! I caught her with very little stress and quickly but James got upset and almost cried. John was in awe. He kept pointing up and with an amazed look said “Boooooo” at least I got her nails trimmed WHEW!

AND….

James FARTED in my face!!!! I breathed it right in. Full on! … I can’t wait for Vernon to get home.

Midge on the left and Kevin on the right.

Midge on the left and Kevin on the right.

These are our Zebra Finches. Kevin and Midge! We’ve had them for 3 years, this spring. Midge is fine, but James is super concerned. Here’s the conversation we had after The Flight of The Zebra Finch.

James: Is Midge hurt? Can she fly again?
Me: She’s fine! Mommy saved her.
James: (quitely thinking with a furrowed brow) Is Kevin sad about Midge????? (his eyes a little watery)
Me: No honey. Keving not sad.

After about 15 min….
James: What happens when birds die?
Me: What? Honey.
James: Do birds die?
Me: Yes, son. Birds dies. Midge is going to be just fine.

My poor mommy heart…. I really really cant wait for Vernon to get home. 😦


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It was a very exciting and difficult night.  Bathtime was insane and getting them to bed was like trying to herd CATS!  So I thought that  when I woke up this morning, it was going to be a new day.  Shoot! We get to start another day over… on the right side, right????

WRONG!

The whining! Its just wouldn’t end! … and then the KIDS started whining.  I guess I didnt start everyone out on the right foot today.  Anyway!  I left the kids alone for 3 minutes so I could put on my gym clothes and here’s what I saw when I exited my bedroom.

The 2yo with his diaper off and a very concerned look on his face: “Mama?”

Me: What’s wron…. *GASP*

The 2yo is pointing a turd at me.  Yup!  On the tip of his tiny pointer finger is a smooshed and smelly Turd.

2yo again: “MAMA??????” (looking very worried)

Me: GROSS!

I grab the baby and take him into his room to change him, clean off his hands and then I leave him on his changing pad (on the floor).  I run out to the living room to grab the diaper.  As I slowly pick it up and giant log rolls out onto the carpet.

Me:  NOOOOOOOOO!  sick sick sick sick sick

I turn around and there’s my half naked son laughing his tiny biscuits off. I grab the Poop Log with the diaper with one hand and the baby with the other and drag them both back to the bedroom.  There, I see poop kisses on the changing pad where his anus has been.  His rectum had left little tiny @$$ kisses all over it!!!!!   I throw down a towel and clean up the baby. I cry.  I laugh. I cry some more.  How do single moms do this?! I feel like I’m losing my mind and … I’m late for my gym appointment.  Oh well!  I probably should have taken pictures, right? 😉

I thought it ended there, but I got about half way through this entry when I was interrupted by silence.  Parents, you know what I’m talking about.  The Silence means one of two things: The children are doing something naughty or there is a mouthless alien behind you that you cant remember who is trying to kill you.  Both of these scenarios are very dangerous and press upon you that nagging suspicion that somehting horrible is happening but you don’t know what it is.

I went to find out what was going on and I see the 2yo with his diaper off AGAIN! There is another Butt Nugget on the floor and it has been baptized in Catholic fashion with his urine!! …. LOL!

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Parenting is an adventure, for sure.  A big, stinky, hilarious adventure that I wouldn’t give up for all the Latinum in the universe.  I love my boys ❤ with both of my hearts! *It’s a Time Lord thing 😉

sigh…. its not too early for a drink, is it?

 

 

Yep. Its that time. O’Frizz:30 pm!

My second son at 7mos!

My second son at 7mos!

Yes indeed, it IS that hour of the day when my hair represents my state of mind.  I feel like I’m about to explode 😛 Pthbbbb!

I am having a very discouraging week so far. I’ve been sick with another random fever. No other symptoms. I thought it was the flu but it wasn’t. Just another FUO (Fever of Unknown Origin). Yep. It’s a real thing.

Also…

Our eldest is almost 5 now and he’s the sweetest little man. He is very caring and friendly but has been having a hard time making new friends at church. All of his friends ADORE him but I think the new kids are intimidated by his self confidence… maybe? They seem put off with how comfortable he is this new situation. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but its hard when he says the other kids wont play with him.

His potty training is halted again and we spoke to a Child Psychologist who recommended that we talk to our Pediatrician about the poop issue. I reminded her that we have been dealing with this for 18 months now and even his Dr is at a loss. Im feeling so desperate!  She was helpful and encouraging in stating that his particular disorder, Postural Ocular Disorder (a subtype of Sensory Processing Disorder), is a low incident and rare disorder so there are not a lot “how to’s” about it. Well at least I know I’m not going crazy when I spend hours on the internet to find nothing!  However, its very hard when your little guy is reaching this huge milestone of life and still cant use the potty.

She also suggested we look into sending him to Public School and having him enrolled in Special Education.  My mind immediately went back in time to when I was in school and Special Ed was for kids with mental retardation and severe physical/mental disabilities!  I tried not to freak out and reassure myself that it’s been, like, 30 years since I was 5yo and that Special Ed has probably changed.  But inside, my heart was just breaking.  I couldn’t help it.  I was thinking that his life would be over if he went to public school NOW.  All of his sweetness, self confidence and esteem would be stolen from him by the taunting children who hate all things different.  Did I mention I was kind of freaking out inside? I did. Okay.

So anyway, I’m having a discouraging week.  I’m not worried that he won’t get better.  I’m sad that its come to this.  A reevaluation of all of our plans and a change of heart towards what we desire.  It’s not bad… it’s sad.  I want to homeschool, but I’m afraid to homeschool.  Now that it may not be best for him to be homeschooled, I want to homeschool more!  weird… I know. I’m remembering all the hurtful laughs and not understanding where they came from.  I was defenseless and didn’t have anyone to teach me about socialization, but my son isn’t defenseless.  I’ve been through it all and come out stronger on the other side.  I’ve been able to see my mistakes in school (socially) and learn from them.  He’ll be so much better off than me.  I’m still freaking out and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of hope about the situation, but that means there’s a little bit of hope.  And God can do a lot with a little bit!

Whew! I can feel my hair starting to settle down now 😉

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