My Calling…

My Calling

 

LOVE 

Everybody needs love. Some would say we all deserve love, but I believe that we ‘need’ it. We cannot survive without it. Most of the world’s worst problems come from a lack of love for each other. Some of the seemingly worst people you run into, or hear about have no love because they received none. Sure, some are just sick. Some people had all the love in the world and they grew up selfish jerks. But if you take a troubled child, and love them appropriately, they ARE more likely to overcome.

I love you guys. I feel like my purpose in life is to love. My beliefs and values encourage this, but that hasn’t stopped 100’s of millions of ‘believing’ people to act out of hatred, contempt and judgement. It goes beyond my beliefs and is confirmed by the scientific fact that LOVE WORKS! I am devoted to be a fighter and a lover of people. I am a woman of healthy boundaries and I will not compromise my beliefs or values, but I won’t use them as an excuse to withhold my love. In fact, I will use them to justify it.

My Calling… I will fight bravely against Fear. I will speak with Virtuous Compassion. I will love Relentlessly! – This is the person I want to be!

I hope you all will help me in being that person. You have all given me so much. Now, hug yourself for me, DAG-NIT! 

Here are some articles about the importance of love and healthy human touch… I don’t encourage you to go around touching people. You will probably get punched in the throat. I will also say if you touch a baby you might get arrested. But science and spirituality tell us that human touch and love are essential for our survival. Consider yourself loved-on today! 

http://www.livestrong.com/article/72120-effect-human-contact-newborn-babies/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maia-szalavitz/how-orphanages-kill-babie_b_549608.html

http://www.livescience.com/21778-early-neglect-alters-kids-brains.html

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In Loving Memory

Jade2

 

For Jade Rusche, a very dearly loved brother in Christ. Our hearts our sick with grief for his family and friends.

I looked up the meaning of Jadrian and I found that it is a form of Adrian, stemming from the Roman Hadrius. Hadria was a town and gateway to the Adriatic Sea. The Adriatic Sea is mentioned many times in the Bible. I know that Jade enjoyed time with friends by the ocean and I wanted to remember him this way.

Note: Name Meaning Source is the website Behind The Name

Nail Design Inspired By Sweet Sugar

Couch Coinage For Comic Con Campaign!

Carrie Bland Comic ConThere are 313.9 million people living in the United States of America and nearly 7 billlion  humans on this little piece of rock we call Terra…Earth…whatever.  We only need 1000 people to donate $2.50 in Couch Coinage in order to reach our goal of $2500 and send one of Geek Culture’s best loved women to San Diego Comic Con 2013.  We have until Tuesday, July 16th to raise this money and make Carrie Bland’s (@Keeba13) dream come true! Let’s prove that Couch Coinage can make a huge difference and generosity is alive and well!

Questions you might be asking yourself right now:

1. “Who is Carrie Bland?”

Carrie is one the most amazingly talented GeekMoms. She is respected as a top Gaming Girl and is the Community Manager for PMS Clan Halo Division. Respect! A Whovian, a Zombie Apocalypse lover, Supernatural addict, and did I mention she loves tacos? Carrie’s an Amazing GeekMom who is so dope, that she crafts-up Legend of Zelda Link arm cuffs for her daughter and cosplay’s some hardcore Stormtrooper action! What lucky kids ❤

http://www.gofundme.com/22sbj0

Check her out on Twitter… @Keeba13 !

2. “What the heck is Couch Coinage?”

Couch Coinage is the Coinage you find in your couch!  I haven’t done any research, but my guess is that the average person vacuums/cleans out their couch once a year.  Its a nice little treasure to find $2.50 in coins among the cereal, hair, crumbs and the God-Only-Knows-What-Putrescence-That-Is.

3. “Why should I give my Couch Coinage to you?”

I truly believe that Couch Coinage can be used for something bigger than just a 12 oz coke out of the vending machine!  If it wasn’t important enough to have it for the year it sat between the cushions and some crusted cheerios, why keep it to ourselves now? Use its simplicity to do something totally AWESOME, like sending Carrie on a well deserved dream trip for Geeks!

4. “Is your Donation Site safe?”

GoFundMe.com uses Paypal to accept donations which is extremely safe. Here’s a quote from their website, “In terms of online security, all payments are securely processed using industry-standard Secure Socket Layer encryption, or SSL.” For more information on GoFundMe Safety & Security , click here.

Creating a PayPal Account is easy, secure and one of the safest ways to purchase items online or make charitable donations.  It is used by thousands of websites and makes donating online a SNAP!  The best part is…ITS FREE to create an account!  Click here for more information about PayPal!

Just Click on the Donate button below or visit the link on our virtual flyer (pictured below).  If you love the idea of Couch Coinage making a difference, PLEASE REBLOG THIS!  We are trying to get as much exposure as possible.  Share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and any other site you can please. Carrie is the sweetest person and this is our gift to her!  I desperately want this for her, will you please help us make it happen? Thank you everyone! ❤

 

DONATE!!!!!!       

THIS  BUTTON...CLICK IT!

THIS BUTTON…CLICK IT!

 

CarrieBlandComicCon2013

Here’s Hopin’ For Hope!

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

This verse touched my heart today from Proverbs 31 Ministries.

Wherever you are and whatever you believe, hope is real. I don’t fully understand it and I’ve rarely experienced it, but it is real nonetheless. AND if you’re like me, you really need it. So here’s “hoping” that we get some soon! 😉

LOVE YOU ALL! Seriously, even you, Random Castleville and Gardens of Time friends! Especially you, Never Met You Geeks In Cyber Space Friends! I’ve got enough for all of you, Facebookies, Tweeps and Blogites!

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Stop Passive-Aggressive Bullying

StopPassiveAggressiveBullying

I am driven to talk about BULLYING because it is something that has followed me my whole life and it seems most people don’t even know that someone they care about is being bullied. So, I’m pulling together information that will help any of you that feel trapped in bullying situations or relationships.   

Most childhood bullies choose a more subtle bullying lifestyle when they grow up, but they still have the emotional immaturity of a child.  They are driven by Pride and Selfish Ambition.  The world revolves around their happiness or lack there of.  The type of bullying I want to talk about is The Passive Aggressive Bully.  This bully would never risk an outright approach for fear of exposing themselves and ruining their carefully constructed image of perfection.  They are brilliant manipulators and they are experts at orchestrating circumstances and people in their favor. When exposed they lash out and deny their mistakes and they will even lie to preserve themselves.  The most difficult kind of bully is The Passive Aggressive bully.

Hidden traits:

  1. Charming
  2. Obsessed with image
  3. Distorts truth and reality
  4. Evasive
  5. Plays the victim
  6. Self-righteous
  7. Pompous
  8. Hypocritical
  9. Two-faced
  10. Rumor-monger
  11. Passive-aggressive
  12. Pretends to care

-via www.kickbully.com

This doesn’t mean that anyone who displays these behaviors or characteristics is a bully.  It doesn’t mean that, because someone has treated you poorly, you are being bullied.  This is just a list of traits that are not visible. They are subtle and are much more devastating if unavoided.  I plan on having a series of posts dedicated to this.  I will be pulling together from many different resources to bring you a full understanding of the bully, and his or her psychological state.  I plan on sharing parts of my lifestory to give you a full understanding of how this type of bullying can affect a person and arrest their life from knowing success.

Bullies are the worst kind of sociopaths and they will fight you to social death.  Usually, yours, because most targeted victims are too weak too fight back, are victims of past abuse, the costs of fighting back are too high, or they have a strong moral obligation that prevents them from doing so.

I hope to go through these characteristics one by one and give you examples of the behaviors that manifest because of them.

I highly recommend checking out the following websites if you are a victim of this kind of bullying.

Kick Bully- Where Your Fight Begins

Bullying In The Family

Bullying: The Family Connection

This Emotional Life: Adult Bullying

Life After Adult Bullying

The Verbal Abuse Site

Books Recommended by Leading Anti-Bullying Sites:

Mean Girls Grow Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid To Bees by Cheryl Dellasega PhD

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons

Victory Over Verbal Abuse: A Healing Guide to Renewing Your Spirit and Reclaiming Your Life by Patricia Evans

To Be An Anchor in the Storm: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abuse Women by Susan Brewster

Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor’s Story by Lynn C. Tolson

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher PhD

When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You by Jan Yager

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Forward

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine

Self Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field Nathaniel Branden

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin Seligman

Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression by Scott Wetzler

The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself by Beverly Engel

Passive Aggressive Bullying

Passive Aggressive Bullying


Workplace or other, it’s wrong.

http://www.kickbully.com/hidden.html

This site humorously refers to the workplace as The Mental Hospital where the patients run the show. However, it illuminates an area of BULLYING that is just as destructive as other forms.

The Passive Aggressive Bully

Please support all of us who have been brutalized by this form of bullying, by reading this article and standing up for those affected by it. It’s okay to walk away from a Passive Aggressive BULLY. Don’t encourage them by listening to them. Dont “Like” their FB posts that are Passive Aggressive. Dont “Favorite” their Passive Aggressive Tweets. Learn the difference between the genuine and ingenuine! This website helps sort out the subtleties of the Passive Aggressive Bully.

Help protect the victims, not the BULLY. If you recognize someone doing this, please step up and do what’s right. Confrontation will only cause problems and backlash, so just remove them from your life.  Help victims by supporting their defenses and boundaries.  The BULLY won’t stop their torment as long as they have people willing to tolerate them.

As far as Christians are concerned, Jesus would have never sat idly by or even encouraged this kind of BULLYING. He wouldnt and didn’t buddy-up with BULLIES. We can’t hide behind His name, call ourselves Peacemakers, and let an innocent be devastated to the point of suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, or fatal suicide because of Passive Aggressive Bullying.

If you are this type of BULLY…you can stop. There’s help for people who want to stop bullying. Don’t let another minute go by where you are responsible for someone else’s pain.

Compared To Whom???

CompareToWhom

 

FRIDAY FACES with Jen…

So when I was told as a teenager that I “didn’t have a face for modeling” and was told by dozens of peers that I was “so ugly” that they “wanted to cut my face off”… I think… compared to whom?

These women???? Listen ladies! We’re beautiful. God knows I don’t feel beautiful. I think I am ugly for most of the day. But I put aside that abuse, the wounds from it and my insecurities when my 5yo son tells me “Mommy. You’re beautiful. I want to stay with you forever.”

I won’t allow him to stay with me forever, but I will allow him to love me. And I’ll believe with him, that I am beautiful…even if I am only able to feel it a few times a day. It’s better than never feeling beautiful.

So when you feel down about your looks, just look at these poor girls who are being made a fool of for fashion’s sake and know that God cherishes His beautiful daughter that He fearfully and wonderfully made…YOU! ♥ Love you all!

 

-pictures found on www.marieclaire.co.uk

-disclaimer I understand this kind of fashion to some extent.  Shoot! I love Cosplay.  But these women are really being degraded and forced into an unhealthy lifestyle.  It makes me very sad for those young girls 😦

Redefining “Shark Bait”

images-5

Something happened to me and the kids on Wednesday that I wanted to wait to post about until I wasn’t angry anymore. Well, after 48 hours of reflection I can confidently say that I have every right to be angry about this situation. Angry at myself, my kids and the woman who left my child for potential road kill.

After the gym I took the kids to the library to pick up some books that I had on hold. They were running around, the 2yo was yelling and I was really embarrassed. Especially since the librarians were correcting my kids (in order to help me, them and everyone, but still it hurts a little). I was just trying to get out of there! I managed to get them calmed down and we started to walk outside even though I hadn’t put everything in bags.

There’s about a 15 yard stretch between the door and the parking lot. So I told the 5yo to hold the 2yo hand and not let go. While i’m stuffing my stuff in a shopping bag. He lets go and the 2yo starts running toward the parking lot. I stumble and the 5yo runs after the 2yo. The 2yo thinks its a game of chase and sprints for the parking lot! All this is happening in seconds!

I see that I’m not going to make it. As I’m sprinting towards the children, wetting my pants (literally from fear), I scream for a woman who is next to her car (and in front of my kids) for help!

I’m literally screaming at the top of my lungs “Grab him! HEEEELP! Please grab him! HELP PLEASE” She looks at me in the eyes as I’m tripping and peeing and near hysterics and you know what she does … TURNS HER BACK ON ME.

I couldn’t believe it. The 5yo grabbed him one millisecond before I did… 14 INCHES from the parking lot. I am not exaggerating this situation.

I was on my knees scolding my children for disobeying and trying to control my tears, voice and bladder. Finally, I stood up, children in hand and turned around and looked at this lady dead in the face and asked, “Really? You were just going to let him run in front of a car. Really????” Then I took the Lord’s precious name in vain (not my finest hour). But I felt like she needed to know who she needed to answer to, if you get my meaning.

That woman, looked completely apathetic. Dead in the eyes. Cold in the lack of emotions in her face. She gave her head a slight shake and her shoulders a gentle shrug as if to say “Its not my problem” I have seen this look on so many faces in my life and in the media and it is always as if the person relinquishes themselves from any responsibility for themselves, their behavior or for anyone else troubles.

I am absolutely livid about this and I’m having a difficult time understanding, loving and forgiving her. She was ready to let my little baby die and as this was unfolding, I truly believed that this was the last day I was going to see him. Ive never been more scared in all my life. If God hadn’t intervened I don’t know what would have happened and I’m thankful I don’t have to live that alternate reality.

I was so shut down afterwards I actually blocked it from memory until yesterday. I told Vernon about and I apologized for not telling him sooner but I had just been trying to process it. Which, meant forgetting about it for a day.

I suppose I’m sharing this here, because I’ve been in situations like this where I’ve had to grab kids for their parents. I’ve never judged them or thought that it wasn’t my problem. Whether you like it or not, we all live on this God forsaken planet together. Most moms are there to help eachother out. If you are of the mind set to quickly to judge a mom, dad, or caregiver for their child’s behavior…to the point of apathy…you need to do some serious self reflecting and ask if you really are all that you think you’re cracked up to be. Being a parent or caregiver is insanely stressful. You are responsible for another little person’s life (sometimes more than one) and it doesn’t help if everybody keeps telling you that you’re a piece of crap at it or that you’re all alone and nobody should help you.

I don’t beat my kids. I don’t verbally abuse my kids. I don’t neglect my kids. What am I doing wrong exactly? Loving them and building them up? Staying at home, nourishing their minds and bodies? Is that wrong? Theyre kids! They are going to be kids! I love how everyone tells you to keep your kids under control but the minute you consider putting them in a back pack with a leash then youre a MONSTER! I feel like I’m drowning in the hypocracy of Previous Parents.

Letting a kid get run over by a car because “it’s not your problem” should be the new definition of “shark bait”. I don’t know when I’ll be able to love and forgive this woman. Normally I can put myself in someone elses shoes and look at things from anothers perspective. There have only been a few cases (people) that being in their shoes revealed to me that there was nothing redeaming about them or at least about the decisions they made. Truly, there was nothing that I could have imagined would drive someone to ever make the kinds of decisions they made. This woman has made the elite list of those kinds of people. It wasn’t even a list until I met her, thats how short it was.

Please pray for me that I can forgive her. Please pray that I can teach my kids to obey. Please pray that they will continue to be protected by their guardian angels. And please…please… pray that I won’t pee myself again! (That was the icing on the cake.) If you’re not religious and don’t pray, your warm thoughts and wishes are still desperately needed and appreciated.

Now where did I put my drink?????

Brother Portrait: Nailed It!

 

 

PortraitsNailedIt

 

Thanks to Ken Bruggeman for publicly posting this great picture of two, perfect-brothers, so that I could show off my two, seemingly-perfect-brothers picture. 😉

Tootsie Roll Factory Working Again! Thanks, Homeschooling.

Homeschool Started

Last Monday, we started up Homeschool again.  We are still waiting on some evaluations, but I thought it would be good for all of us to get some schooling in.  We were getting SO bored!!!  Homeschooling has been so difficult for me because I just didn’t have the ability to understand or create my own lesson plans.  I’ve had people recommend curricula, but none of them had the lesson plans written out.  The ones that did, were RIDICULOUSLY expensive (some being $900). I’m positive that I have some kind of a learning disability and I’ve struggled with the organizing of information all of my life.  Trying to take different subjects and create lesson plans for them was not overwhelming, it was IMPOSSIBLE.

My second college degree is in Theater Education and I always got horrible scores on my lesson plans.  I just couldn’t understand how to take all of the information I ‘knew’ and put it into an organized plan.  One lesson at a time wasn’t too hard when I knew what the teacher wanted me to say, but the unit long ones would give me horrible headaches.  This is why I don’t like chess!  You have to know where you’re going and most people know that I never know where I’m going. LOL!  I spent hours researching curricula online and it was all very confusing and expensive.  I spent 8 hours one day trying to save money on a curricula by looking for some of the materials at the library, ebay, amazon etc. and creating a Spreadsheet to organize my findings.  The result, I would save $24 off of a $800 purchase.  I spent a full day’s work to save $24?!?!?!  If I were getting paid to be a Stay At Home Mom, I just lost $60 that day. DAG-NIT!!!!

Then, one morning I woke up and I just knew exactly what I needed to do.  I knew that I needed to get curricula that had the lesson plans in them… duh.  However, the miraculous understanding came in how those plans, units, concepts, standards and objectives all lined up!!!! I’ve been praying and praying and praying and then… POOF!  I got it.  I can tell you dozens of stories of how God has given me miraculous understanding in things that were seemingly impossible and where I had NO help.  So, here we are and I was a good week! No boredom, fighting, strife, or whining.

The biggest thing that happened was the 5yo started put his poop in the potty. ALL. WEEK. LONG.  That’s right, parents!  The day after we started school again, the toilet seat started going up on it’s own.  At first, I was creeped out (watching too many paranormal investigation shows I suppose). Then, sanity said, “that’s your son using the toilet…Nerd.”  I’m sorry, but that is not a sound that we are used to hearing around here.  He’s only had a few accidents. One major blowout, at his Uncle and Aunt’s that required a shower… heheheheh… sorry guys…. Other than that, he’s been accident free and has given Butt Birth to some of the most amazing turds!  I’m so proud of him.  This is the longest record he’s held in almost TWO years!  TWO YEARS!!!!!  All of the withholding and constipation and fear and complaints have all but disappeared.  He tells me… “no mom, i want to do it all by myself. I’ll call when I need you.”  What a grown up thing to say!  I think he might be ready for underwear… omg… underwear….  UNDERWEAR!!!!  This is like the Holy Grail of Potty Training!!!!

We’ve been doing the Miralax regime for 18 months and it was the same cycle: gets impacted, give him Miralax, cleaned out, withholds, gets impacted again even though he’s on Miralax.  I still think that he has some sensory problems and physical problems that are hindering him because he’s explained that he cant feel his poop.  But it seems he’s found something that is working for him and he’s going for it!  We’ve been showering him with rewards!!!

For any of you who are interested in our full Potty Training Journey, start from the beginning by reading Let’s Talk About Poop Logs.  You can find the link in the side bar under the “Potty Training” category. Believe me when I say that we have tried everything under the sun and nothing has worked.  He literally started doing this on his own with no motivation at all.  Something just clicked and he’s working with it.  I dont want to say his problem is cured.  It’s not.  He is working with what he has found successful and trying, but I feel that he is building his self confidence right now and I’m not going to doubt in front of him.  I just treat him like he’s succeeded.  If he reverts backwards, I wont dispair and I wont discourage him.  We’ll just keep doing what we have been… going with the flow… or lack there of 😉

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