I am driven to talk about BULLYING because it is something that has followed me my whole life and it seems most people don’t even know that someone they care about is being bullied. So, I’m pulling together information that will help any of you that feel trapped in bullying situations or relationships.
Most childhood bullies choose a more subtle bullying lifestyle when they grow up, but they still have the emotional immaturity of a child. They are driven by Pride and Selfish Ambition. The world revolves around their happiness or lack there of. The type of bullying I want to talk about is The Passive Aggressive Bully. This bully would never risk an outright approach for fear of exposing themselves and ruining their carefully constructed image of perfection. They are brilliant manipulators and they are experts at orchestrating circumstances and people in their favor. When exposed they lash out and deny their mistakes and they will even lie to preserve themselves. The most difficult kind of bully is The Passive Aggressive bully.
- Obsessed with image
- Distorts truth and reality
- Plays the victim
- Pretends to care
This doesn’t mean that anyone who displays these behaviors or characteristics is a bully. It doesn’t mean that, because someone has treated you poorly, you are being bullied. This is just a list of traits that are not visible. They are subtle and are much more devastating if unavoided. I plan on having a series of posts dedicated to this. I will be pulling together from many different resources to bring you a full understanding of the bully, and his or her psychological state. I plan on sharing parts of my lifestory to give you a full understanding of how this type of bullying can affect a person and arrest their life from knowing success.
Bullies are the worst kind of sociopaths and they will fight you to social death. Usually, yours, because most targeted victims are too weak too fight back, are victims of past abuse, the costs of fighting back are too high, or they have a strong moral obligation that prevents them from doing so.
I hope to go through these characteristics one by one and give you examples of the behaviors that manifest because of them.
I highly recommend checking out the following websites if you are a victim of this kind of bullying.
Books Recommended by Leading Anti-Bullying Sites:
Mean Girls Grow Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid To Bees by Cheryl Dellasega PhD
Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons
Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor’s Story by Lynn C. Tolson
Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher PhD
Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Forward
Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field Nathaniel Branden
Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin Seligman