Don’t Point That Turd At Me!

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Since SuperHubby has been out of town this week things have gotten very interesting.  The beginning of the week is always easiest for the kids and the last two days are usually insane filled with frustration, tireness, sadness because they miss their daddy.

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Here’s what happened last night as I posted on Facebook:

THE BIRD JUST GOT OUT!!! I managed to catch it. My poor MIDGE! 😦

I needed to clip their nails and midge snuck out! I caught her with very little stress and quickly but James got upset and almost cried. John was in awe. He kept pointing up and with an amazed look said “Boooooo” at least I got her nails trimmed WHEW!

AND….

James FARTED in my face!!!! I breathed it right in. Full on! … I can’t wait for Vernon to get home.

Midge on the left and Kevin on the right.

Midge on the left and Kevin on the right.

These are our Zebra Finches. Kevin and Midge! We’ve had them for 3 years, this spring. Midge is fine, but James is super concerned. Here’s the conversation we had after The Flight of The Zebra Finch.

James: Is Midge hurt? Can she fly again?
Me: She’s fine! Mommy saved her.
James: (quitely thinking with a furrowed brow) Is Kevin sad about Midge????? (his eyes a little watery)
Me: No honey. Keving not sad.

After about 15 min….
James: What happens when birds die?
Me: What? Honey.
James: Do birds die?
Me: Yes, son. Birds dies. Midge is going to be just fine.

My poor mommy heart…. I really really cant wait for Vernon to get home. 😦


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It was a very exciting and difficult night.  Bathtime was insane and getting them to bed was like trying to herd CATS!  So I thought that  when I woke up this morning, it was going to be a new day.  Shoot! We get to start another day over… on the right side, right????

WRONG!

The whining! Its just wouldn’t end! … and then the KIDS started whining.  I guess I didnt start everyone out on the right foot today.  Anyway!  I left the kids alone for 3 minutes so I could put on my gym clothes and here’s what I saw when I exited my bedroom.

The 2yo with his diaper off and a very concerned look on his face: “Mama?”

Me: What’s wron…. *GASP*

The 2yo is pointing a turd at me.  Yup!  On the tip of his tiny pointer finger is a smooshed and smelly Turd.

2yo again: “MAMA??????” (looking very worried)

Me: GROSS!

I grab the baby and take him into his room to change him, clean off his hands and then I leave him on his changing pad (on the floor).  I run out to the living room to grab the diaper.  As I slowly pick it up and giant log rolls out onto the carpet.

Me:  NOOOOOOOOO!  sick sick sick sick sick

I turn around and there’s my half naked son laughing his tiny biscuits off. I grab the Poop Log with the diaper with one hand and the baby with the other and drag them both back to the bedroom.  There, I see poop kisses on the changing pad where his anus has been.  His rectum had left little tiny @$$ kisses all over it!!!!!   I throw down a towel and clean up the baby. I cry.  I laugh. I cry some more.  How do single moms do this?! I feel like I’m losing my mind and … I’m late for my gym appointment.  Oh well!  I probably should have taken pictures, right? 😉

I thought it ended there, but I got about half way through this entry when I was interrupted by silence.  Parents, you know what I’m talking about.  The Silence means one of two things: The children are doing something naughty or there is a mouthless alien behind you that you cant remember who is trying to kill you.  Both of these scenarios are very dangerous and press upon you that nagging suspicion that somehting horrible is happening but you don’t know what it is.

I went to find out what was going on and I see the 2yo with his diaper off AGAIN! There is another Butt Nugget on the floor and it has been baptized in Catholic fashion with his urine!! …. LOL!

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Parenting is an adventure, for sure.  A big, stinky, hilarious adventure that I wouldn’t give up for all the Latinum in the universe.  I love my boys ❤ with both of my hearts! *It’s a Time Lord thing 😉

sigh…. its not too early for a drink, is it?

 

 

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Comments

  1. It’s never too early for a drink when poop is involved. LoL 😉

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