Yes indeed, it IS that hour of the day when my hair represents my state of mind. I feel like I’m about to explode 😛 Pthbbbb!
I am having a very discouraging week so far. I’ve been sick with another random fever. No other symptoms. I thought it was the flu but it wasn’t. Just another FUO (Fever of Unknown Origin). Yep. It’s a real thing.
Our eldest is almost 5 now and he’s the sweetest little man. He is very caring and friendly but has been having a hard time making new friends at church. All of his friends ADORE him but I think the new kids are intimidated by his self confidence… maybe? They seem put off with how comfortable he is this new situation. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but its hard when he says the other kids wont play with him.
His potty training is halted again and we spoke to a Child Psychologist who recommended that we talk to our Pediatrician about the poop issue. I reminded her that we have been dealing with this for 18 months now and even his Dr is at a loss. Im feeling so desperate! She was helpful and encouraging in stating that his particular disorder, Postural Ocular Disorder (a subtype of Sensory Processing Disorder), is a low incident and rare disorder so there are not a lot “how to’s” about it. Well at least I know I’m not going crazy when I spend hours on the internet to find nothing! However, its very hard when your little guy is reaching this huge milestone of life and still cant use the potty.
She also suggested we look into sending him to Public School and having him enrolled in Special Education. My mind immediately went back in time to when I was in school and Special Ed was for kids with mental retardation and severe physical/mental disabilities! I tried not to freak out and reassure myself that it’s been, like, 30 years since I was 5yo and that Special Ed has probably changed. But inside, my heart was just breaking. I couldn’t help it. I was thinking that his life would be over if he went to public school NOW. All of his sweetness, self confidence and esteem would be stolen from him by the taunting children who hate all things different. Did I mention I was kind of freaking out inside? I did. Okay.
So anyway, I’m having a discouraging week. I’m not worried that he won’t get better. I’m sad that its come to this. A reevaluation of all of our plans and a change of heart towards what we desire. It’s not bad… it’s sad. I want to homeschool, but I’m afraid to homeschool. Now that it may not be best for him to be homeschooled, I want to homeschool more! weird… I know. I’m remembering all the hurtful laughs and not understanding where they came from. I was defenseless and didn’t have anyone to teach me about socialization, but my son isn’t defenseless. I’ve been through it all and come out stronger on the other side. I’ve been able to see my mistakes in school (socially) and learn from them. He’ll be so much better off than me. I’m still freaking out and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of hope about the situation, but that means there’s a little bit of hope. And God can do a lot with a little bit!
Whew! I can feel my hair starting to settle down now 😉